Just a sad song, or are these the good days?

I can't sleep and it' one in the morning. I'd like to be able to blame it on the insomnia, but tonight it's something more.
It's her.
I don't understand how she can make me cry when she's not even here. I thought I was ok but in the dark all alone your feelings that you manage to hide even from yourself manage to take hold. It's shocking and terrifying knowing what a hold one person can hold over you. I don't think that twenty years from now I'll scratch my head and try to remember her name. This is something that has touched and changed me, enough that I will never forget. I know I care so why is it so hard to give in? Is she right? have I changed that much since I've been gone, so much that I don't even know myself? Or is it that she is part of a world I left behind, and the one I now am in is much more selfish?
I don't know. All I know is there is no end of things that make me think about it. A blanket, a song, a word, a smell. These things all conjure up ghosts of extremely cherished memories. If I was so happy before, why do I find it so hard to feel happy now?

Classifiaction and Division- White Lies

Little White Lies- everyone tells them, no matter what they believe. I tell them as often as society demands it, and sometimes a little more. I believe that they are necessary for human relationships to function correctly, but not so much that people should build lives upon them.
I usually only tend to tell white lies that will make people feel better or good such as "That test was really hard. Don't worry about the bad grade". While I tend to tell these lies, I try to keep compliments on looks and personality as genuine as possible, as anything else would become flattery.
I do not remember telling a lie that would hurt someone as I have been brought up to face my mistakes, but there have certainly been times when i was hurt by lies. I try to move past this however, and remember that we all are human and prone to emotions such as fear, guilt, and anger that could facilitate these lies.

New Age Trophy Wife? Agreed

The essay "Trophy Wife" was based in the changing gender roles in today's marital scene. It's main premise was that men are no longer looking for an eye-candy wife, but that more and more they are looking for an "alpha female". This means they are looking for women who are high-powered, motivated, and successful.

This also takes the burden off men as the sole bread-winner for the family. This is the point I agree with most. Men have always been viewed as the success object, but today's economy, mixed with changing gender roles have changed that, much to my relief. I personally have always been pressured by this thought pattern- I was always told the mark of a man is to be able to take care of an entire family on his own.

I liked this essay because it spoke personally to me, and compared both men and women, older and younger men, and gender roles before and now.

Narrative Essay Subject

I really had no ideas come to mind when I found out I have a narrative essay coming up. "Significant events"? I'm 18. What in my life has happened to change my person of future? Nothing that's what.

Then again...

I have loved my music since I started. Its been a huge part of my life since I was was in seventh grade. I can remember the first time I picked up a sax clearly, like it happened last week.

So, I have my subject for my essay... I hope.

Patterns for a Purpose: The Helpful Redundancy

My English 1010 textbook, "Patterns for a Purpose" was a sixty dollar investment and knowledge already learned, worded for college students. Honestly, there are only so many ways to say 'here's some techniques for brainstorming' and 'make sure to rewrite' and the writers of this book have defiantly covered them.

Despite the obvious redundancy, this book has actually been more helpful than others. For instance, this book is not just four hundred pages of text about how to write well. It actually gives pertinent examples and real life uses for the things it teaches. One example was the two page break down of the logical fallacies poor writers will try to employ. It gave the definition of each, along with examples of what they sound like.

So what am I really trying to say? I appreciate that people would take the time to write a book to help people write better, but does it HAVE to be so redundant?

What I Feel About, and Some Experiences with Writing

I have always felt the need to express myself. Mostly This need is both manifested and satisfied through my music. For this reason, I have never felt an 'artist connection' with writting and have never found it more useful than fulfilling academic demands and notating some thoughts I needed to remember. There has only been one time when I felt a need to write, and this was simply to calm my mind in a stressful time.

On the contrary though, I have always enjoyed writting, if nothing more than a hobby-esqu e love. It has allowed me to think clearly and taught me to organize my thoughts and ideas efficiently. It has also has been a good way to grow intellectually and keep my mind sharp.

Take a Second... and Juuuuust Think

So I'm driving home from a rough rehearsal, in rush hour traffic. I'm going past a Smith's next to an intersection, so it's really busy. I'm expecting stupid people, but it still scarred me when this stupid sixteen year old girl pulls out RIGHT in front of me WITHOUT LOOKING!
I don't have a working horn, so I slam on my breaks and she hears the screech.
"Nice" I mouth. She looks like a deer in headlights- clueless. "Go... GO!" I yell.
"Sorry!" she drives into the next line.
I drive by her slowly and touch my forehead- as if to say "How about we think next time huh?"
So now I'm driving home think things along the lines of "Stupid people... shouldn't be allowed to drive. They give out drivers licenses like candy here. Everyone should have to take the stupid test with a REAL instructor..." Blah blah blah... I'm just PISSED.
Then I stop and think... How many times have I made a stupid mistake? Made someone screech to a stop? Tried to lane change and not seen someone?
And further... she looked so scared. And apologetic. What if she was having a bad day? What if her boyfriend had broken up with her? What if she didn't make lead in that play she wanted to be in? What if she had just failed her final test in that ruthless calculus class? And now I'm sitting here making her feel worse for a stupid mistake? And one I've made before? Now I feel like a jerk...
So basically, just stop and think before you get all high and mighty, we're all human, and we all have days and moments like that. So stop... and juuuuust think.